vent vent vent.

6/1/2021

Need somewhere to let loose about your struggles with mental illness? Wondering what it's like to experience the effects of struggling with keeping up your mental health? You've come to the right place.

44 Comments

anon

6/1/2021 01:30:49 pm

not sure if I'm ever gonna be enough for anyone or anything at this point. best efforts always fall flat

Anonymous

6/1/2021 02:40:40 pm

Hey there! I understand that right now may be a hard time for you, but there’s always a light at the end of the tunnel. Life gets bumpy and sometimes we have our downfalls. Just remember to take you’re time to get back up and be better than before. You’ve got this, please stay strong! ❤️

anonymous replier

6/1/2021 02:42:23 pm

I know what it feels like to feel like your best efforts aren't enough for anybody. The most important thing though, is whether or not they (meaning your efforts!) are good enough for YOU. Take a step back and ask yourself if you're doing the absolute best you can. If the answer is yes, try to be kind to yourself! It's so difficult to rationalize sometimes, especially when it feels like you are at war with your mind. But the most important relationship you have to build is the one with what lives between your ears. Everything happens for a reason, which means you've never fallen short! The reasoning for what's happened just hasn't been revealed to you yet. Keep going!! You've got this!!

H.W.

6/1/2021 02:43:30 pm

you will forever be enough. Talk kindly to yourself and always remember your self worth. You may not see it now, but there is a bright future ahead and you are going to find within you, pure joy and happiness. Don't give up, theres a long road ahead and you're doing the best you can, just keep pushing.

A.D.

6/1/2021 02:34:54 pm

Hi! I am here to tell you that you are more than enough! Sometimes the going gets tough, but the light at the end of the tunnel is always bright. You might not know me, but I am telling you that you are wanted and you are very loved.

anonymous

6/1/2021 03:24:44 pm

Sports caused me so much anxiety that I quit, and I feel weak for that. I knew nothing about mental health before I was in the hospital during a panic attack not knowing what was happening, and then later having anxiety about having anxiety/panic attacks, a horrible cycle. I can’t imagine life without my anxiety controlling me, and I can’t imagine ever being able to play sports again (again I feel weak for that)

anonymous replier

6/1/2021 03:44:41 pm

you should never feel weak for dealing with anxiety or panic attacks. in fact, you are so strong and brave. i completely understand about having anxiety about having anxiety and that horrible cycle. you aren't alone.

Anonymous

6/1/2021 03:51:04 pm

Don't ever feel weak for dealing with anxiety and panic attacks. Getting through an anxiety attack requires a level of strength not many people have. Always tell yourself that your proud of how far you've come and you know you have the strength to keep going!! you're loved and cared for so much, never give up!!

A.D.

6/3/2021 02:35:50 pm

Hi! I 100% understand where you are coming from. I have quit sports due to my mental health being bad from that particular team or coach. I used to think I was weak for that, but no I realize I am so much stronger for it. It may not seem like it, but you are stronger for it to. It takes a lot to stand up for your mental health even if you didn’t really know much about it at the time. I’m so proud of you for it! In addition, overcoming anxiety is an uphill battle but I have faith at you can do it! Two years ago I wouldn’t have thought I’d be in the position I am today, I no longer let anxiety control my life and I have found new sports and new teams that push me to be my best in a positive way. I know the same will happen for you. As for overcoming anxiety, try finding a hobby (like writing or hiking maybe) where you can be in a calm environment while contemplating the things you are thinking and feeling. This worked for me, it’s worth a shot :)

anonymous

6/1/2021 03:52:42 pm

I considered quitting my sport so many times this year. I felt misunderstood and sad most of the time I spent playing or with my team. It’s so hard because a lot of people who don’t have personal experience with mental illness only pretend to make efforts to understand. I fear that I’ll lose the love for my sport or stop playing if this continues. It’s either this team or nothing, I’m not in the right personal and financial situation to leave. It’s so draining even thinking about returning to my sport next season. I don’t know how to help people to understand me, no matter what I try it’s never enough.

A.D.

6/3/2021 02:43:21 pm

Hi there! I know what you mean, and I know from experience how playing a sport you love can go from an awesome experience to feeling like a sucky job. Many factors can go into it that transition, but what’s really important is your mental health. I know that this sport/team may seem like all you have in your mind but there are so many different things to try out there that may fuel the excitement that your sport once did. I know it’s sad to hear, but something to think about is if this sport is worth the strain it puts on your mental health. From personal experience, I made that tough decision in quitting a sport I had played my whole life and even got the chance to play in college, when I ended up in the hospital because of a panic attack, that’s when I realized I should have followed my gut instinct when I realized it was negatively impacting my mental health. I’m proud of you for coming forward with your concerns because that’s a step in the right direction! Quitting doesn’t have to be the answer! Maybe looking at your sport in a new light and not considering it as a job or a burden may help. A more positive mindset can be the key to everything <3.

anon

6/1/2021 06:24:48 pm

sometimes i really feel like i just want to disappear. one second I have my mental health in check and i feel confident and sure of myself, then suddenly i just feel as though i want to escape it all. anyone else?

M.L

6/2/2021 08:44:49 am

That is exactly how I felt throughout high school. During football season, I felt like I was the best person I could be. One week I would feel amazing and confident about myself, and then the next week I felt like I was the loneliest person in the world. What helped me is reaching out to friends and trying to make everyday the best it could be. Try to look at the small things that make you happy everyday. Even if you need to reach out to one of the ambassadors on this page, we are here for you. Feel free anytime!!!

anonymous.

6/3/2021 05:04:15 pm

as someone who has struggled with a mental health fight for a few years, i always know that i’ll be okay after awhile. whenever i try to reach out for help, i’m always told “get over it you’re fine” or “change your mindset.” i’ve changed my mindset a few times but that never seems to truly help. last night is when it got worse again. the feeling was so powerful and i’m scared that i won’t be able to build myself back up again. i don’t want to lose this battle because i know i’m strong, but i’m just tired of the fight.

6/4/2021 10:54:55 am

the fact that you are dealing with this constant battle and still waking up and trying every day is a victory in itself. many people who say to 'change your mindset', while they do mean well i'm sure, in my experience it doesn't really help or make any huge difference. sometimes the best thing to do when reaching out to someone for help is to just ask for someone to listen! "i really need someone to talk to right now and i was hoping you could just listen" is normally something i lead with. know that this blog can be used as a daily venting space if you need. we are all listening and we can all be an ear. you'll never hear to "just get over it", and i hope that's comforting in itself.
something to try: if you haven't tried journaling before, maybe start to keep track of the things that take you out of that dark place. even if it's something as simple as feeling calm and distracted on a bike ride or listening to music, start taking note of these things and keep incorporating them into your daily routine - even if it feels like you have to force yourself to do them at times. it helps to make our daily battles just a liiiittle bit more bearable. you'll get through this!! keep going!!

Anon

6/4/2021 02:29:55 pm

one of my fatal flaws is that i put off things that i know will help me until later on. especially because of my obsessive compulsiveness, sometimes i feel like i can't start doing things (for example, my journaling) if i don't remember to begin on sunday of that week. i need to learn to let this go. i'm just feeding into it. i know these things will help me, and i can't be putting it off.

6/8/2021 07:22:02 am

i know how tough obsessive compulsive is. everything has a scheduled time and place and when they aren’t met you feel like somethings off or the world may end. think about task like watering plants. you still need to do them, but you don’t need to do it right now. a plants not going to die if you don’t water it the same time every day or week, but it does slightly increase the urgency. i’m proud of you and i know how difficult it is sometimes. keep your head up and power through. the world needs your creativity.

anon

6/9/2021 09:27:29 am

I love the watering of the plant analogy.. definitely gonna keep that in mind for when I'm feeling like I could shut down if I'm off schedule. thank you :)

ANON

6/16/2021 01:46:48 pm

I can feel the pit in my stomach starting to grow, and grow. I try my hardest to train my mind to think rationally but sometimes I feel like I just can't catch up. I wonder if overthinking is going to ruin my relationships. I want to be comfortable enough with myself to know that I'm good enough to keep around - I kind of know it, but my mind still wanders sometimes.

Anon

6/17/2021 07:32:45 pm

Intrusive and obsessive thoughts are, for me, the hardest symptom of my anxiety disorder to deal with. When I was first diagnosed, they were terrifying and debilitating and it felt like I was losing my mind. I have a great psychiatrist that I really trust and I started taking medication when all the other remedies didn’t work for me. I remember trying to explain it to my parents and they said “we don’t understand what you’re worried about” It is impossible to explain to someone that has never experienced it. I also understand the knot in your stomach. I would go days without eating or being hungry. I was so fortunate to have a doctor that prescribed a medication that has helped me to this day. I told my parents, and anyone else that questioned my going on medication, “would you have a problem with a diabetic taking insulin? Because this is exactly the same thing.” YOU ARE BETTER THAN “GOOD ENOUGH” TO KEEP AROUND. You’re perfect just as you are. I truly truly understand how you’re feeling. If you have a primary care doctor, reach out and speak to him/her. These symptoms are some of the toughest but I PROMISE YOU there is help for you and you can manage it. I’m ALWAYS available on this thread to help you however I can. Please reach out if you need to. I have a lot of experience with the intrusive thoughts symptoms. xo :)

anon

6/22/2021 08:37:33 pm

honestly i feel like there’s always more that i could be doing. whether it’s to improve my relationships or other aspects of my life i’m always looking to do more. when will i feel like i’ve done enough? when will i be happy with what i have to give? i’m exhausted and doing my best but i still feel like it’s not good enough

6/23/2021 08:58:06 am

sometimes it feels like things spiral out of control. you feel like your constantly running to keep up with everyone else. if you aren’t doing this your not doing it right. always remember to put yourself first. it’s hard sometimes, you constantly want to help others and make sure they’re okay but i promise you it’s not selfish to sit back and just reflect sometimes. the world is still going to turn and time isn’t going to stop. always keep and open mind and heart and believe in yourself. you need to be content with yourself before helping others. just letting people know you’re there for them is enough. don’t over think it. you are so much stronger than you think and i know your friends are extremely grateful that your in their life. validation comes from within. always remember that. i’m so proud of you!

anon

7/8/2021 04:31:18 pm

i honestly don’t even know if i’m trying to be strong for myself or for others at this point. i feel so lonely and like i’m trying to claw my way out of a ditch. i don’t know what to do anymore

7/8/2021 04:47:33 pm

first you wanna take a deep breath. put your energy towards yourself. towards digging deep down into that scary hole and be honest with yourself. what do you want. what are some short time goals you want to hit. weather it’s drinking water, getting outside or anything like that. being lonely is what you make of it. sometimes i’d just sit by my window and watch the clouds go by. instead of telling myself i feel lonely i take time to reflect and see what i can do to better myself and the situation im in. i keep a journal and journal regularly. i think it helps keep the mind from wandering where i dont want it to go. you are loved and you are strong enough. i’m so proud of you!

Brooklyn

9/14/2021 04:33:38 pm

struggling with a lot of change, not sure how to handle emotions and feel very alone

9/14/2021 04:41:41 pm

it takes time to figure out what you want. things don't just come when you want them to. change is tough. a lot of change is tough. but change is good. you don't want to get stuck in the same rhythm everyday. sometimes surprises will show themselves to you. and you must choose your path. you can play it safe or take a risk. where ever your journey takes you, you will learn and you will grow from it. you may get hurt in the process. you may get knocked down once or twice or maybe even twenty times. but using these experiences and learning from them is so so so important for character growth. take time to yourself. figure out what you need for yourself to move forward. reflecting for yourself has really helped me in the past and in the present. you need to find what your groove is and what works best for you. try not to bottle up your feelings. write them down or confide in someone you trust. it will be detrimental for your mental wellness if you keep it in. you are vaild and more than enough. remember to always push yourself to be better and push others around you to your own high standard. the world is a better place with you in it!

10/11/2021 04:53:12 pm

i feel like im at a crossroads. part of me still feels a lot of happiness and love towards my sport, but the other side it feels like a chore. i want to be better but putting in the work is mentally exhausting, maybe because i feel like i'm never improving. i don't know what i can do to overcome this. i definitely can't live without my sport right now and its so integrated into my identity at this point i couldn't imagine my life without it, but i don't know how to take a step back and appreciate it for what it is right now.

10/11/2021 06:48:13 pm

i know exactly how you feel. this can be absolutely exhausting at times. first of all your feelings and emotions are 100% vaild. i know that everything seems like a hurricane right now and it’s hard to see the future infront of you. i’ve been in the same situation you have been. try to find a hobby to splice up your time. sports should feel like a retreat or a safe space. before going to practice try to think of one or two things you want to improve on that day. set small reachable goals and break them down so you don’t get overwhelmed. whether it’s something like foot/edge work or asking your coach questions, everything makes a difference. always remember why you started playing in the first place. go back to that feeling you had stepping into the lockerroom, field, or rink for the first time. play for that person you were and the person you want to become. celebrate the small victories and put one foot infront of the other. some days it’s going to be hard but that’s when you must push the hardest! i’m so proud of you! reach out on ig @lilystorer27 if you need anything!!

anon

10/14/2021 10:26:33 am

I really feel like my team doesn't support my mental health. They say they support me and that they support mental health education, but it all feels very surface level to me. They repost mental health stats on their story and easily write #endthestigma but on a day where I am struggling they turn a blind eye and make negative assumptions about me. I feel like I've done what I can to talk to them and to try to garner support, and I like all of my teammates but in this certain regard I don't know why they are so reluctant to truly show me the support I need. This has been going on for some time now. I wish people didn't just repost things about mental health on their story and not mean anything by it. I feel like a lot of them just do it because they feel like they should or they may think that they are helping, but in the way they are acting, they aren't. I genuinely don't know what to do about this. I feel like they just view mental struggles as en EXCUSE rather than a real genuine issue. Which it is. and I'm so tired.

Mikey levine

10/15/2021 11:08:55 am

Honestly, I can say the same thing. I notice that a lot of people just repost it and don’t do anything about it. Some of my friends are the same way with your teammates. They say they support it but you can’t see it. I don’t know who you are but if you need someone to talk to I’m here if you need me. 617-733-6998 if anybody needs someone to vent to.

not doing so well

10/18/2021 02:33:13 pm

there is a person in my life who is struggling to the max. he won't admit or accept that he has anxiety and depression, and in turn is not getting better. i have done everything i possibly can to come up with resources for him, share my own experiences, point him in the right direction, and be supportive, but he refuses to accept his problems. he views his anxiety and depression as something he has to "fix". but you can't fix anxiety and depression, you can only manage it, but you have to accept you're struggling with it first. you can't fix diabetes. you can manage it though, with insulin. if you don't take insulin, you'll get sick. its the same thing. you can't fix anxiety and depression, but you can manage it. if you don't, you brain will remain sick. he says he feels so alone and that life seems to bleak and hes sleepwalking through his day to day, feeling isolated and unmotivated. this breaks my heart but i almost feel like i've done all i can do. i even got his parents involved. my efforts seem to go nowhere. i feel so sick and helpless right now. i just don't know what else to do. i'm on the brink of tears every moment knowing that he is suffering and i can't do anything about it anymore. i cry because he won't accept it and he won't get better. there's so much more to this but i just feel so fucking helpless and small. i know nobody has the answers. im just looking for something, anything that might help. i also reccommended he look at the testimonials on here, and recognize that many of them say they didn't feel better until they 1. accepted their mental illness and 2. accepted help.. but he just says "i'm different" and "people deal with different things differently, they aren't me and i'm not them". if you're reading this post and have anything to contribute, please do so.... i feel so sad and lost. the love in my heart for this person is so strong and it breaks every day i know he is suffering.

10/18/2021 02:36:05 pm

i am really struggling right now to find the right balance of what will make me feel better these days. i know i have all the right variables: fresh air, planners, time with loved ones, time playing my sport, doing my schoolwork, prayer, and personal time.. but for some reason things can only stay in check for small spurts of time, never really consistently. i wish i listened to the voice inside that tells me what i need to do instead of the other voice who drags me down the rabbit hole.

its me again

10/18/2021 02:41:09 pm

side note. the song Je Te Laisserai Des Mots. that is how i feel. thats how i felt for the whole day today

10/18/2021 02:44:38 pm

i keep posting on this thread right now because i keep thinking of more i wish i had the courage to say. probably gonna throw up after i take my medication today since i didn't eat anything today, but i just didn't want to

10/25/2021 08:21:43 pm

i feel like i’m just a shell of myself

anonymous

10/27/2021 03:48:14 pm

you know it’s getting bad when you start to wonder who would take care of your pet if you were gone.

ANONYMOUS

5/7/2022 08:54:41 pm

i just learned that my coaches have been saying negative things about me and have been telling many school ball coaches that i am faking an injury (i have an intercostal muscle strain that was close to tearing). i love softball and would never think about quitting, but i literally hate the environment my coaches create. i am a well-known, hard working pitcher for my district and have no reason to fake an injury. i just need some guidance on what to do and how to stop feeling like i need to explain myself. my dad is gonna talk to them this upcoming monday.

anonymous

5/20/2022 06:00:54 am

hey, this is a really tough situation. coaches can seriously make or break the experience you have, especially when there isn't mutual trust. you should be able to trust your coaches will always have your back and support you, especially when you're already feeling the stress of dealing with an injury. i think you should definitely speak with them and ask them if there has been a miscommunication somewhere? i'm wondering how that meeting went?

Col

7/25/2022 10:15:34 am

I'm feeling so lost in life right now. My dream career for 15+ years ended up making me miserable and negatively affected my mental health, but I had never considered anything else for so long that I don't even know what my new dream is. I quit teaching, got my mental health back on track, got a new job, and seemed to be doing better. But, I'm not doing so hot anymore. I want to leave my current job but I have no idea what I want to do. I know my next chapter in life doesn't need to be my lifelong job. It's okay to keep testing the waters and trying things out. I just have no idea what to try. I have a million different ideas floating through my head, and there's really only one that makes me feel excited (to quit my job, find something remote, and travel a bit in between my new part time coaching job this fall--because I've always had a strong sense of wanderlust and wanting to explore). That's so scary though, to quit and do something random online just to be able to take a few trips to visit friends, which won't be super easy to do this fall anyway as I'm coaching xc. I know that I need to do what makes me happy and what aligns with my values and what works for me right now, not for the me in 10 years. But, as a planner and someone who always wants to do the right thing and make my parents proud, giving up a stable job for something temporary while I travel my little heart out for a few months terrifies me. Any advice?

7/25/2022 10:29:55 am

Hi there,
First of all I want to commend you for having the courage to follow your heart and leaving a career behind that was negatively affecting your mental health. That takes SO much bravery and not everyone can do that! I can't imagine how hard that must have been, but it's amazing and I'm so proud and happy for you.
The great thing about opening up your opportunities is that there are so many options out there, but I can also definitely see how that can become a stressful thing. If your heart is telling you to travel because that's what you think will make you happy, I would say to pursue that avenue as long as you can! You could find a remote job along the way that really aligns with your passions AND your desire to see the world.
You could also really love coaching more than you're expecting, and there are so many opportunities there - that even come with some travel benefits!
In my opinion, the "right thing" to do is the thing that is going to make you the happiest. The people in your love who love and care about you and your wellbeing will agree, I'm sure, and will be proud of you no matter what! But the most important thing is that you are feeling good about what you're doing or, for now, feeling optimistic and open minded about what's ahead.
Try a lot of different things, but try to stick with something that is going to feel meaningful to you, and will allow you to see some of what the world has to offer.
You've got this!!!!

Col

7/26/2022 09:58:02 am

Thank you so so much:) I posted that not expecting to get a reply, but when I came on here and saw that someone had taken the time to read my post AND respond to it, I smiled. Honestly, just getting all of my thoughts out while writing this helped me see where my heart was learning toward, despite feeling so confused and anxious yesterday. Today, reading your advice just solidifies my thoughts and feelings. I completely agree with everything you shared, and it's pretty darn close to the same advice I would give a friend! I just have a harder time taking this advice than I do sharing it haha
When I left teaching without a single plan other than taking care of myself mentally, I told myself that the most important thing I learned from that experience was to do what makes me happy, no matter what other people say. Although that life transition was difficult and a super hard decision to make, the people who matter most to me were so supportive because they always want me to feel like my best self, and my current situation wasn't allowing that to happen.
I feel like I need to take a risk and try this dream out. Maybe it'll be absolutely amazing and will help me find myself again. Or, maybe it won't work out and I'll realize that the remote/frequent traveling life isn't for me. Regardless, I'll never know if I don't try. I've just got to stop thinking about what could go wrong and what other people (namely, my parents) might think about it, and just go for it. Instead of what could go wrong, I want my mentality to be, what could go right?
Thanks again:)

Michael Orrett

11/5/2022 06:30:16 pm

As an athlete that has been in limbo between being retired from competitive sports and having the itch to play again, it’s hard to find people who can relate to the trauma that their parents have push on them through sports. Tennis was my sport for the first 10 years of playing competitively, which was never my choice as I was 4 when I started. My dad pushed me and pushed me until my esteem was tied to me winning. I’ve switch sports (from tennis, to volleyball, and now to cross country) but it’s been really hard to find people who have such a love hate relationship with sports and improvement. I would love to talk to someone who has battle through the love/hate relationship of their sport, and the effect it has on their day to day life. Hope you have a great rest of your day!

Michael

Emma

1/5/2023 03:33:29 pm

Hey Michael,

First off thank you for sharing and feeling comfortable to share this. Second, I totally understand what you're talking about and I promise you're not alone. A lot of people including myself have been pushed into sports by parents and had traumatic experiences because of it. I was on skates since I was 3 and playing hockey by 7 so I've been grappling with trying to separate my identity from sport while also realizing I've met some of my best friends through this sport but also experienced a lot of trauma from sport. I also have a really bad/ no longer have a relationship with the parent that pushed me into the sport and carried a lot of anxiety about winning and based my self worth off of winning. It's definitely not a linear path to healing, I've been in therapy for most of my life and only just started to talk about my sports performance anxiety. Please let me know if you would like to talk more and we can get connected in a way thats comfortable for you.

Michael

1/8/2023 03:11:40 pm

Thanks so much for writing your message above, it made me feel very much heard :). I'd love to chat with you and to learn your journey through all of this. If you search up Michael Orrett on Facebook, I believe I am the top result (I'm wearing a baseball hat in my profile picture) or if that's not the best platform, my Instagram is @mike.orrett, I never use it hence the reason I have 10 followers lol

A safe place to talk.

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